I had to let him go. It hurts because I do feel like he was the best match for me. We have so much in common, we understand each other, we LOVE each other. But I don’t know if he knows how to be in a relationship. Or if he even wants to be in one. He flew to NY over the weekend. He went more than 24 hours without one single text, and I find out he’s in NY.
No “Hey babe I’m going to NY, here’s my flight info, see you when I get back.” Nothing. I was robbed of the simple oportunity to wish him a safe flight. I get hit on all day at work, & tell these men “I have a boyfriend” but I dont actually know where the FUCK he is. God forbid his plane crashed & I have to hear from his family, “His plane crashed.”
"Plane? Where was he going?" Yea. After 7 months, I dont know SHIT about what he’s doing with his day. I feel stupid. His excuse? He didnt have one. Simply told me "I don’t need to ask for permission."
Motherfucker I didn’t ask for permission, just a fucking HEADS UP. Some of you BOYS have life confused. There is a difference between a woman who is trying to control you, and the act of being CONSIDERATE of her feelings and INFORMING HER when your selfish ass might be leaving the state.
This shit is unacceptable. What makes it the most unacceptable, is the fact he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. Its been one thing after another. I forgave him for the “flirting” he was doing online. Telling another woman she was “so gorgeous” asking another woman where he can take her out to. I got past it, I got over the Myspace thing, I made sacrifices. But after this long, & after telling me you love me and want to be with me forever, you cant even tell me when you’re getting on a plane?? C’mon man.
& I haven’t cried yet.
I’m sad, but I refuse to cry this time.
Knowing Your Legal Rights #3
A police officer can only search your vehicle in cases of PLAIN SIGHT and REASONABLE DOUBT. If they see or smell contraband, they can do an immediate search, however they cannot search LOCKED compartments without your permission or a warrant. They can ASK YOU to open it, but you do not have to until they obtain a warrant.
In a lot of cases people get themselves in trouble by being asked permission but thinking they HAVE TO comply when they don’t. Believe it or not, they have to ASK YOU for your permission to do a breathalyzer. If you say no, they will more than likely arrest you and get your blood alcohol level when you get to jail, but once again, they will have to take you to jail, process you, and obtain a warrant based off of reasonable doubt and evidence of intoxication to legally “search” your breath.
Do I think people should be doing dumb shit to get them into trouble in the first place? No. But people should know their rights.
Know Your Legal Rights #2
The police are like vampires. They cannot come inside your home without being invited inside. In most cases people are nervous around police and they intimidate their way into your home. You litterally dont even have to answer the door. If they are called to your house for a noise complaint, there is no reason they need to be inside your home to tell you to turn the noise down.
The only time the police can force their way inside is if they have reasonal belief that the person inside is a suspect of a violent/federal crime, or if they hear someone in distress inside.
Once they are inside your home, they have to ask your PERMISSION to have a look around. You have the right to say NO, and you have the right to ask them to LEAVE. People think they will be in trouble if they say no, that is not the case. The only time the police can take it upon themselves to “have a look around” is if they “smell” something (Reasonable Doubt) or they see something (Plain Sight) that is illegal. Otherwise, just tell them “the music is turned down” and ask them to kick rocks.
I’m probably insecure because every time you try to convince me that you’ve lost or broken your phone, I see that you have your “new phone” in the same raggedy plastic case that you never take it out of. If lost, broken, and stolen, why does that case remain raggedy as fuck. Where’s the new case genius?
But I wont tell you that, because you’ll tell me another lie, and try to make me feel crazy.
I havent had sex in over a month. I’m starting to lose track of time & find some people attractive that I normally wouldnt. & I’m also liking being at work more than dealing with the rest of my life. I’m getting away from my troubles there. I’m growing distant from a certain man, and his plans to rescue me like my knight in shining armor proved to be short lived. Of course I never leaned on that. Never lean on a man. Always depend on yourself. If you let yourself down, you can only blame you.
Knowing Your Legal Rights #1
A person cannot TELL the police to search you or your home for drugs. It cost a lot of money for a police department to take the required legal steps to making searches and obtaining warrants. He said she said, isnt enough to call a judge.
If someone says “so and so has x y z in my home I want you to search it” that person who’s home it is will go to jail. The person who is responsible for the possesion of drugs is the leaseholder of a home, and the title holder of a vehicle.
So the psycho bitch who kicked me out this weekend and TRIED having me arrested. I got great pleasure in watching the officer laugh in your face as I safely removed my product.
Sex Tip #1
If you want to learn to deep throat, lay on your back and allow him to straddle your face. Instead of being focused on your neck motion, you will be able to focus on relaxing your throat and letting him get deeper & deeper.
Also, laying on your back with your head hanging off the side of the bed is a good way to practice that also, but I prefer laying on my back, I’m completely relaxed.
#1.5 Weed helps.
*cue twilight zone music*
So on my way to work, I’m driving along minding my own business (I love saying that) and suddenly (because I was speeding a little) I see a Peacock walk right out in front of my car. When I tell you this shit was in slow motion, I tell no lies. It was like my mind had to process the shit. Just last night I’m posting about how I want a peacock tattoo and this big ass bright bird walks in front of my car? Last minute I swerved to miss it. Thank God nobody was in the other lane. I’m pretty sure he/she was merked after that but I would like to go on believing he/she escaped violent death.
I’M FUCKING AMAZING
As far as facebook & twitter, I’m pretty skilled in pretending like every day is sunny and bright. When in reality, my life has been a shitty ass mess. I’ve been put out of my home, I’m now sharing a room with my son in someone else’s home, hoping every single day I wont end up in a homeless shelter. Unemployment got my start date with my part time job (during training) wrong and decided to stop paying me, the day prior I had gotten a speeding ticket, and I was left with $60 these past two weeks. Thats it. $60 for gas, $30 each week. I couldn’t go anywhere but work & home, I’ve had chocolate pop tarts for breakfast for the past couple days, and I have only been able to feed my son peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. I’ve cried almost every single day for one reason or another. I cannot clean my laundry because I have to pay to wash my clothes and don’t have any money. My anxiety has been so overwhelming that I cannot sleep most nights.
But I am proud and happy to say, tomorrow is Friday, and it is PAY DAY. I will have money in my pocket, I will be able to buy food, and clean my laundry, and on Saturday I will finally start my full time schedule. Not only that but I picked up three overtime hours for this month and 28 hours for December. Sure I’ll have to work 18 days strait, but shit, I will have MONEY. I still wont have every worry taken care of. My future is up in the air. My situation isnt permanent, and I’m fearful every day about when it will come to an end.
My man bestie has been quite the dick lately. Blaming my circumstance on me, acting like I cant do anything else but SUFFER. I’m not allowed to say a man is attractive or spend one night out with a co-worker to shake off a little stress. Well guess what. I get paid tomorrow and I will have a sack of Bob Marley with my name on it. I’m gonna smoke, & drink myself a Blue Moon & celebrate making it this far on so little.
I have three tattoos and I’m over all three of them. They’re all small, and one of them is tacky as shit. That one being the tattoo of my name on my left tit. Soooo my next, soon to be tattoo, is going to be a Peacock like the one in the photo. I dont want the wings open. It will be something like that minus the double chin & the gay looking flower and tree branch. I want its head to be on the top of my shoulder and the rest of the body and long flowing tail to run down my chest and over my left breast tattoo and down the inside of my breast.
& Don’t worry, I wasn’t thinking “what pretty girly shit can I get on my body” I gave this tattoo a lot of thought. Especially considering its going to hurt like hell. The Peacock is the bird of Hera, the wife of Zeus. & she was a jealous, vicious, vindictive, drama queen. I fucking love it.